Epilogue: Everything, everything

Six years have passed since the night I died. Truly died; not the half-death of vampirism.

You might ask how it is that I can be telling this story if I am dead and my body destroyed. That is a very good question, and I believe, Antony, that now is the time to reveal what has been happening these past few months - and to reveal your part in this. It will add a nice twist in the tail of the tale, so to speak. I think, though, that it would be best to leave this in my own words, thankyou Antony. This is my story, after all.

As you of course know - but the reader does not - I have been visiting you nightly, through the body of your dear brother, and telling you my story. Yes: I know that he finds it unpleasant, Antony, but as you know by now, it does not harm him. And you know I can speak through him, but not do much else: otherwise you can be sure that I would simply... 'inhabit' you or he and write all this down myself.

But no: I have needed you to write this down for me, because I am... a 'spirit' now, I suppose... for want of a better word, anyway. Although that might not be an accurate description; I believe that the magical forces that filled my mind and body during my time on Vvardenfell changed me somehow. The golden 'threads' woven into a link to the plane of magicka, the constant exposure to magical items that influenced my mind, the magicka leak inside my body, the magical, vampiric blood of the Aundae family in my veins... I could not even call my body my own anymore: that alien strength, grace and ability that swelled in my limbs - the never-ending surge of magicka... even my face was lost, and replaced with that of a stranger! It was all the warping influence of magicka - I'm sure of it.

I believe my mind became so intrinsically meshed with the flows of magicka that when my body was destroyed, my mind remained... to float along in the tides of magicka. I call them 'tides' because it seems that I cannot 'do' very much during the day. The moons grant me power; as they empower the tide to ebb and flow. Hence why I visit you nightly...

Yes... I died, but my mind continued; in Aetheria, the plane of magicka. Perhaps my mind was already taken from my body long before I died. Perhaps that is what happened when the crescent-moon emblem dove into my flesh. For the longest time after I died, I did not know that I still... existed. Tell me: when you dream, do you feel - or smell or taste - anything in your dreams? I never did: I only ever saw and heard things. Now, imagine a dream like that; only you cannot see or hear anything either. That is what it's like for me now, and that is why it took years for me realise that my mind is still... 'here': there is only thought now. (Except for when I inhabit your dear brother, Antony.)

Pure thought and knowing. I know when it is day, and when it is night. I know when people are nearby - and I know if they are happy, sad, or frightened. I know the piece of ground I cling to. I have to hold on to something, you see. This... place, Aetheria (the realm of the gods?) is just... too vast. There's no-one here! Or at least... I cannot find anyone. I was lost for so long... but some time ago - maybe a year or two - I found the ground; near the place I died. I 'crawled' away from there, for a long time; until I came to you here, in Cyrodiil - the province where I grew up. I had to leave Morrowind behind: I could not stand to be there anymore.

Morrowind...

I lost everything there. My home, my belongings, my place in the world, my friends, my life, my body... and my Sirilonwe... Everything... everything. Everything, everything!

And it was him! Matius! I will see him punished for this!


You have asked me - more than once - why I have you commit all this to paper; why I want these memoirs printed and published. I will answer you now - at the end - though I think it is obvious. I want the world to know why I did what I did. I would have people know the truth of what happened; in every last detail, so they can understand me and my actions.

Why does this matter if I am a mere spirit? I should think that that would be obvious too. Every passing night, I exert more control over your brother. Look! I can even make vague, pointless gestures now! How exciting. You and he need not worry, though; I'm beginning to think that his his body (and yours) are simply not suitable for my needs. Forgive me, but perhaps you and he lack the breadth of mind required for this sort of thing.

I will find someone, though. Someone I can take completely. I will return to the mortal world; and when I do, things will become very unpleasant for certain guilty parties... This is why it matters that people know the reasons for my actions.


I will return to the world - and my presence will be felt!